O Homem que faz acontecer

À procura em sites sobre assuntos variados algo agarrou a minha atenção,algo me fez parar,me seduziu.Encontrei,por fim,o site mais cómico que pode existir...eu não sei é como ainda não foram processados.O maior criticado neste site (uma personagem de uma série muito famosa,toda a gente sabe quem ele é) deve se rir tanto quanto qualquer um dos mortais que por lá passa.Por ter apanhado um verdadeiro "fartote" ao ler aquelas frases decidi passar algumas para este modesto blog, que já há muito precisava de se animar.Todos os créditos para o THE-PANIC.net.

P.S:é necessário dominar a língua inglesa para interpretar correctamente a frase....

CHUCK NORRIS facts

1. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
2. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
3. CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
4. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
5. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
6. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
7. Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
8. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
9. In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
10. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
11. Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
12. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
13. There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
14. Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
15. When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
16. Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
17. There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
18. Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).
19. Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
20. When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
21. Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
22. If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
23. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
24. When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
25. Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
26. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
27. Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
28. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
29. If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
30. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
31. Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
32. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
33. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
34. Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants.
35. For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.
36. When Chuck Norris does a pushup,he isn't lifting himself up,he's pushing the Earth down.
    

...lol...=D